Unknown Speaker 0:05
Hello and welcome to my podcast leaving religion and those we leave behind. As always, I am truly grateful that you're here and really excited to share with you my next guest Holly seminoff and part of the reason why I am excited to share this episode with you is because she is the one I am co facilitating my heart retreat with and her and I work really well together and really create something beautiful. And if you are interested in more about our heart opening retreat, head over to my website, Amanda Joy loveland.com and you can get more information there and get registered especially after you listen to her beautiful story of how man Her story is quite unique and very, very interesting. So I'm excited to share that with you. Also if you are someone that is on a journey of leaving religion, and you're ready to really put it behind you to heal to clear those parts of you that are still somehow linked in and ultimately are ready to really come home to yourself. I am opening a new opportunity for three individuals so I only have three spots available that it's more of a private one on one type program. So this is something you're curious about connect with me through social media and that's probably the easiest way to get in direct contact and my social media Amanda dot joy dot Loveland just DM me there either on Facebook or Instagram. And without with all that said, and without further ado, let's dive into the conversation with Holly seminoff Welcome Welcome. Welcome. I'm so excited because I'm sitting across from one of my absolute favorite people in the entire world. Holly seminoff No, Hello,
Unknown Speaker 1:56
thanks for having me.
Unknown Speaker 1:58
Well, we were originally gonna do this because we're gonna have you and Mike on but Mike Couldn't he had some you know, something else that was more important. Bigger sticker it Mike, if you're listening, you're in trouble. And this is also perfect, because then I get to have just one on one time with you and sharing your story. And I'm, I'm excited because your stories are really unique. And we're gonna go into more of a spiritual. I don't know what to call it. But different than other stories that I've had before. So I'm really, really excited to have you share your story with all of us.
Unknown Speaker 2:32
Thank you. I woke up today actually just total peace and really happy to share it. We all have stories, right? And we learn through each other's stories experiences as well as our own. So it feels really good to be here.
Unknown Speaker 2:50
So I know, I know. Well, and we just did another podcast on with Jessica and I. So we talked about this a little bit over there. But since that's a different channel, I'm going to repeat this again. But oddly, Holly, and I actually like our families knew each other growing up, but Holly and I never knew each other growing up. That's what's so funny to me, right? Yeah. Like I met your mom. I don't know a year ago. Yep. I'm like, How do I know you? And then it's like, oh, you're looking at Loveland, his daughter, and we're dead at it. And it's like, What? How did I never connect these two things? It was just, you and I were just meant to be really, really good friends.
Unknown Speaker 3:24
Right? We got some time in between and then eventually.
Unknown Speaker 3:30
Yes. So I'm gonna let you dive in and dive in where you want to start. I know you were born and raised Mormon. Awesome. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3:37
Yeah. So born and raised Mormon and, you know, did did the whole Mormon thing because that's what I knew. Yeah. And growing up, I did have a lot of spiritual experiences. And what do you mean by spirit? What
Unknown Speaker 3:54
kind of spiritual experiences so
Unknown Speaker 3:56
one experience was actually my, my dad was chasing me to throw me into a pool. We had a pool in our backyard. And we had these huge railroad ties wall. And so I ran up on the railroad tie wall, and when I ran up there, again, there's the pool there. And then there's a bunch of rocks and I was pretty high up. Like, what would I say? Maybe 810 feet, and I tripped, and when I tripped, then I started falling straight to the rocks that were in between the pool. And as I'm looking and falling, I'm watching these rocks, like, literally, I see them. My head's just about to crash into them. And then something grabbed my waist, flipped me over and then I literally just floated down and I landed right on my feet. supersoft just like, How old were you? I was probably eight years old. Wow. Yeah. Eight years old. So that's just one experience.
Unknown Speaker 4:55
So your your eight year old brain. How did you What did you think?
Unknown Speaker 4:59
How did you age knew that something had grabbed my waist and I floated down and I was like, Oh, it's an angel. It's like, Oh, we got you not done yet.
Unknown Speaker 5:08
There's something to be like, the innocence of the child mind. And like, yeah, of course that was an angel. You know? Like, I think it's a good reminder.
Unknown Speaker 5:17
Yes, right. So I've had some experiences like those. And one in particular was, it's super interesting to me, because, again, growing up in like the Mormon Church, how how I took the teachings of Jesus was that the Second Coming means then you're going to have the judgment. And looking back at this point, I'm like, I was an amazing child, super caring, and loving, and all the things. But in that point in my life, I kind of always thought I had to be looking for something that I did wrong. Because there had to have been something I've done wrong. And I gotta make sure that I'm super clean in case this judgment comes. And one night, I was actually sleeping on our back porch. So I was always a child who was outside, like, all the time, I slept outside all the time. And my parents actually put a bed on our back porch. So I would sleep on the bed in our back porch. And one night, I was sleeping there. And I remember opening up my eyes, and I saw this really bright star about the mountains. And I'm looking at the star, and then it just started getting brighter, and brighter and brighter and coming towards me. And I'm staring at this light getting brighter and brighter and brighter. And then, as that light got closer to me within the light
Unknown Speaker 6:37
was Jesus. And how old were you?
Unknown Speaker 6:41
I was about 11 years old. Oh, cool. Yeah, I was about 11 years old when this happened. But here's what's fascinating is I saw and I saw Jesus, I was so scared, I jumped up, I ran inside, and I hid underneath my bed. Because you thought it was a judgment. I thought it was the judgment. I thought it was the second coming. And I was so scared. And then I'm hiding under my bed and like, right, hours passed by, and then it's just the next day, like, nothing's happening. I can't hear anything. So I come out, and it's a normal day. And I'm like, that's interesting. Okay. And I remember just being so scared, yeah. And, like, I saw Jesus, and I just got so scared. And then I kept having dreams. For many years, I would have dreams and within the dreams, it's like anyone's normal dreams. But then out of the corner of my eye, I would see Jesus, and he'd be way off. And I'd be like, and I'd kind of like go away, like a void, Jesus in my dreams. And as I started to continue to grow throughout many years, so besides the dreams, I've always had had a really loud voice that has guided me internally. And this loud voice has always given me guidance. And I knew I could listen or not. So for example, I went horseback riding. And as I'm getting out of the car, I heard the loud voice say, Stop, don't ride today. And I'm like, I can do whatever I want. I'm gonna go ride. So I went to go ride, and I ended up getting bucked off the horse gave me a concussion, then had a concussion for a couple of days. And a lot of these things that happened to me growing up, too. And so I recognize that when this voice speaks, it actually serves to listen because every time the voice spoke, and I said no, because I knew I could say no, then something huge would happen. So again, growing up, I had this loud voice, and I kind of had the stuff going on with my dreams even with Jesus.
Unknown Speaker 8:51
Do you mind sharing what Jesus looked like to you? Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 8:53
it was the picture that I had been seen and shown in LDS, which is, I mean, the most popular one is kind of the cloud one right? where his robes and his brown hair and lighter skin. That's what I was seeing. Yeah. And here's what's fascinating is I went through kind of a spiritual awakening. And what I mean by that is, in 2007, I had gone into it's kind of a training almost like a Tony Robbins thing are just like a self awareness training, not necessarily a spiritual training, but it's like a self awareness training. My husband had gone through it in December of 2006. And then he's like, Hey, you might really like this. And once you sign up, I was like, Okay, so then I went in February 14, Valentine's Day of 2007. And there's about 100 people in this like training that were going into it. And so everyone, you know, they open the doors is like Okay, we're starting. So everyone starts going in. And I happen to be the last one to walk into the room. But as I'm walking to go into the room, then as I'm walking through these double doors, again, I hear this loud voice come in the one who's always guiding me, and I knew something huge is going to happen. Say, your life is about to change forever. And it was like slow motion, I remember turning around, and like looking at these double doors, and then they just slowly close home. And I'm like, and again, because of my experience with this voice, I'm like, what's gonna happen? What's going on? So I'm super high alert, no kidding. And there was one seat open, and it was in the very front of the room. So when I walk up, I sit in the very front of the room. And I am just waiting, like, okay, is this ceiling gonna fall just be super hyper aware, pay attention. Now, within this training, they have different processes that they'll go through, again, just to bring the unconscious conscious, so it's just how you're become aware of how do you show up in the world. And it's through just different processes that people go through. So one of these processes, there were lots of different processes throughout the days, and it was a four day program. So I'd been in for about two days and was having like, a whole lot of awareness going on with just people in general and how we show up as humans, how I show up. And one of these processes, what they ended up doing was they put a chair in front of people. And then they asked people to go to their most painful experience they've ever had in their life. And the reason why they asked them to go there was so that they could release it, to let it go. And the chair was in front of people literally, so they could if they need to like screaming head it so it was padded, it's like sometimes when you go into those places, right, you can get really angry.
Unknown Speaker 12:03
All the and the emotions just come up super strong, and people almost relive it, right? So they started this process, and I was in front of my chair sitting there. And as soon as they began this process, all of a sudden, I shot out of my body. I went behind everyone's eyes in the room. And then again, there was like 100 people. And I saw and felt their most painful experience as if it was happening to me, literally, like I lived it, I breathed it like it was felt me on every single level, I felt it. And in that instant, again, I just lived like, all their most painful experiences, and I was in it. And then all of a sudden, I came out of my body and I came back to myself. Now when I came back to myself, what was interesting is it was me, but it was an all knowing part of me. Some people call this your higher self, your true self. And I came back into myself. And as I did that, I knew exactly what I got to do. So I actually stood up, and I ended up taking over the entire training. So the person who was facilitating the training went and sat down in the back of the room. And then I took over the training. And I known what people's most painful experience was because I literally just lived and breathed it. So as I know what they are going through, then I'm yelling out things to them. And I'm literally telling them what to let go up what to surrender, what to release. And then all of a sudden, I would come back to myself, I call it as like the little assar me as Holly and I'm like, What am I doing? And I'm like freaking out because I don't necessarily know what I'm doing. And then all sudden I shoot behind everyone's eyes again. And then I would be back into knowing exactly what I'm doing and running the room. And in this process, I led the entire thing. And as soon as it was complete, so it felt like okay, we're complete. I was at my chair, and I just collapsed on the ground. And I couldn't move. I couldn't speak like, I just lived 100 lives. And I didn't know which one was mine. I didn't know. You know, if I had kids, I didn't know if I was married like no idea. And I sat there for a long time. Just completely blank. And then all I can describe it is a little light turned on in my in my brain. And it said Mike is yours who is my husband? Here's the number. So I remembered his number. So I got someone's phone. By that point, I could move. And I could speak I got someone's phone and I call them and I'm like, are we married? Do we have kids? And he's like, yes, and again, he'd been through the training but not necessarily the extreme that I just experience, but then he's like, Yes. Are
Unknown Speaker 15:02
you okay? I'm
Unknown Speaker 15:03
like, Okay, well, I'm not coming home tonight, sorry, I hung up the phone. And then I ended up going home with someone in our training. And so I went home with her, and I laid on her couch. And that was almost my dark night of the soul. So as I'm laying on her couch, and she gone to bed, all of a sudden, my crown just open like the crown of my head. And literally, it felt like the pain of the world to start coursing through my body, from the crown of my head all the way through my body and out through my feet. And I was just screaming, like, screaming bloody murder, because it was literally just coursing through me. And that was my night, all night long, super intense. It was extremely intense. And I'd finally like, in the morning, maybe fallen asleep for an hour, and we had training the next day. And so we go in the next day. And what I'd realized is after that night, everything felt different, everything was different. Because all of a sudden, I'd always been sensitive as a child, like sensitive to how people are feeling and all the things but not to this extreme. All of a sudden, I could feel everything, like what everyone was feeling, to an extent like I was them. And then energy was very tangible to me. So what I mean by that is, I could see and feel people's energy. And I literally could feel it in my hands with my own energy. So when we went back into the training, I'm again, just like, literally like, Wow, did I crack, like, what is this? What is going on? Where's my reality, it was changed everything. And I sat in the back of the room, and I'm sitting there, and the person I'd gone with that night to their house, they were in the front of the room, so their back was facing me. And I was in the back of the room. And I'm just sitting there like putting my hands together and pulling them apart, like, watching the energy between my hands. Like, Oh, my God, like feeling it, watching it. And literally people next to me are like this girl's crazy. I'm like, Do you see this? They're like, Oh, I'm like, Oh my God. And I'm just on the verge of like, Am I nuts? Like have I just cracked What is this? And then I looked up and I saw the person who had gone home with and all of a sudden I could see, like this darkness around her almost look like bags that she was carrying on her back. I could see just this heaviness surround her. And as soon as I looked up, and I saw that, then she started to cry. And again, her back is to me. And as she just started to cry, I'm like, Oh my gosh, so I'm looking at this energy in my hands. It was like white Tingley sparkly. It was just, it was very angelic, like, loving. And I'm like, Oh, I wonder. So I held up my hand and I focused on her. It's like, I brought my eyes to her and just focus like all of my heart and soul on her. And then I noticed that this light, this energy, started to leave my hand and go towards her. And it's surrounded her. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, you can move it. I was in her like, Whoa, you could move it. And the coolest thing was then all of a sudden, I saw this darkness, this drop off of her. And then she started laughing. And I started laughing because I'm like, Fuck, she has no idea what I'm doing. Like he or she is literally reacting to what I just did, that she has no idea what I just did. And she accepted it. So it wasn't like I came in and like took it all away or anything. It was something within her that was like, Alright, I'm letting this go. I'm receiving the love that's here for me the support. And so in that moment, I was like, all right, whatever this is something outside of me reacted to it. So there's something rare, that's powerful. It's not just me going nuts. So that was what I really call my conscious awakening. Or the thing that really got me going down a path of spirituality that wasn't necessarily tied to religion. And what I mean by that is
Unknown Speaker 19:47
in that moment, I really did recognize and because of the way I was seeing and feeling all the reality that you know what, everyone is doing the best they can with where they're at and The only thing that really limits us from our divine essence is ourselves and our lack of feeling worthy to receive it. Our lack of feeling like, we can actually trust ourselves with our own spirit,
Unknown Speaker 20:16
or even being capable
Unknown Speaker 20:18
and being capable, right of it all. So in that moment, is when literally, I really made a shift from what I would call religion, as in a structure of this is what spirit is, and someone kind of telling me what spirit and God is to like, wow, I actually am connecting with that directly. And for me, it was more of a feeling than anything, because it was absolute peace and love. And it was kind of a baptism by fire. Some people say it, right? Because he, and some people almost, especially when people are transitioning to like, you know, religion or spirituality, they'd be like, man, why couldn't I have that experience, and it would be so easy to leave, it was actually quite intense. Because again, I was always coming back to like, Okay, I'm not crazy. There's actually people that are responding to the energy I'm sending. And I'm seeing, and I was very reluctant to what had all been open up to me. What I mean by that is, again, after this whole training was done in complete, I still had all these things open. And I did not want to be considered like some, there's many titles, right, rich guru, like, you know, psychic Prophet, like, I don't know, like, there's so many labels to these things. And what what I was actually really blessed with was a partner, my husband, who was super supportive. So after I'd gone through that experience, and came back, like, what I was doing and saying to him, and everything going on, he's like, this is incredible, like, and I'm like, I don't, I don't know, if I want this. I was like, this is a lot like, it's almost easier in a way, mentally, depending on where you're at, right? To just almost give your life to someone else, or an organization to be like, Alright, you just tell me what to do. And I'll check the blocks. And so then all of a sudden, this was like, like, do I really want this like, and then the questions came in to like, Am I worthy? Like, how can I hold this because I could see things I don't know, everyone could see. And what I started to recognize was that people would oftentimes want to give me their power in a way. Because I would be able to tap into things that were like, not necessarily seen or known, right? Like someone's childhood passed on. And then it's like, oh, my gosh, you must know everything in the universe. And I'm like, No, I don't, I just received little Inklings or that, who gets to have the most power over every single person for their own spiritual enlightenment, or group, or growth is that person. So it's again, like I might be able to support people, because I can happen to like, see and perceive the subtle or spiritual realm. But in the end, it's that person's own connection with the divine with source with God, that is the most important. So that's something I actually really struggled with, and I almost wanted to hide. Because I recognize that people would so easily almost just give their power to something to not be responsible. Because when you take your own spirit and soul, and you're like, this is mine, to cultivate, to grow to, like, connect with, like, sometimes you can feel a lot of responsibility and be like, oh, it'd be easier. You know, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes people say, right, it'd be easier just to have not known that. But really on the other end, though, when you really step in your power and you recognize like, Oh, I am a divine creation, and I have that connection. And that power of connecting to the subtle the spirit, intuition, the sixth sense, then you really open up new possibilities in this human life. So it's not just about you know, connecting to the divine so you can make it through this life. It's about connecting to the divine so that you can really connect to your spirit while you're embody. And that can
Unknown Speaker 25:10
be a support for you to recognize that, yeah, we can create heaven on earth, you know, you hear the saying all the time. But I know this, like with every fiber of my being, I know this, it's not just some flu flu thing. Because truly Home is where the heart is. And it's where our spirit is. And it's just creating the space to bring our spirit and body. But to talk to ourselves, our higher selves and to know, we actually do have the answers within. And we are so much more powerful than we recognize. And in saying all of this, it really does come down to I feel the connection and the relationship you have with yourself and your own spirit. To be able to shine a light that we can create heaven on earth, we really can. But the only thing that's really stopping us is our lack of trust in ourself.
Unknown Speaker 26:13
100% Yeah. So were you Mormon when you went to that training?
Unknown Speaker 26:17
Mm hmm. So I was I walked in there, Mormon, and I walked out, literally, like, Oh, I'm done, I'm done. It was I had a very easy transition in the beginning, because again, I just had to experience all the sudden, something completely, that blew that out of the water, that blew what I had been told, or any of those experiences that had been connected to the LDS church, out of the water, and I just knew, I'm like, Oh, I got it, like, I got this connection now. And I don't need that. And it was nothing like, you know, really, like, painful or fighting. Yet, that knowing and I just left the church, in that I honestly did have a little bit of struggle that came up a few months after being like, wait, you lied to me? over the church with the church, right? And that was more Did you feel like they lied to
Unknown Speaker 27:23
you about
Unknown Speaker 27:24
it was about almost an owning of spiritual gifts. So what I mean by that is, again, this voice that had been guiding me throughout my life. So in the Mormon Church, they call this you know, the still small voice or the Holy Ghost. And so obviously, I always labeled it that. And then since my spiritual awakening, again, with the voice literally telling me, your life's about to change forever. What I recognize with is that it stayed with me, actually, the church itself didn't own that. And they didn't own these spiritual gifts, such as even healing, learn laying on of hands, that is actually inherit to every single individual here on this planet, because it's inherent to the spirit, it's inherent to the soul. And that was a bit about my little like, wait, you lied, you don't own this, how can you say you own this. And that was my own ego, I got to go through and recognize, because everyone has amazing spiritual gifts. And what I know is that it is usually our own worthiness we feel for ourselves, that blocks us from our spiritual gifts. And for me, it was just some something or an organization outside of myself, that saying that they had ownership on these spiritual guests. And really, if you look at, you know, other religions, as well, it's kind of like, well, you have that, because you're with us. And here's what's always been fascinating to me, is that when someone has a very spiritual experience, we as humans, will sometimes want to recreate that same experience. So we'll set up the outside environment exactly the same. So let's say I'm in like a Mormon temple, and I have a really powerful spiritual experience. Then, when I leave that experience, you know, days weeks go by I'm like, I want to recreate that I want to feel that again. Okay, this is what I was doing. Here's what I was sitting, here's what I was wearing. Let's go recreate this and I go and do it. And then it's like, might fall flat. I'm like, dang it. I lost my worthiness. There's something I did that, you know, all of a sudden, I never received that. But here's what's fascinating is you'll take people all over the world, Buddhists, Catholics Jewish, they're in their Jewish temple, someone else's in their Buddhist temple, you know someone else's in Are Catholic Church, and they'll have just as powerful spiritual experiences. So they may do the same thing and want to recreate that. But here's what I've come to know and recognize is when someone is truly seeking from their heart in a pure way of I want to connect the essence to God to source to the universe to spirit to heaven. They will and the god universe your spirit does not judge where you're at what you're doing what position your hand and what you're wearing, right? It will show up, but it is that earnest in heart, it is that purity of heart of truly asking. So in saying that, it's it always is interesting to me when people try to recreate a spiritual experience. Because it really what I personally feel is about the peronists of heart to like the
Unknown Speaker 30:56
missing the point a little the point, right? When my this is reminding me when my dad was dying, and he had, he had come home, my dad died of cancer and he had come home and he was going to die. Like we all knew that's what was happening. And I remember all this, you know, talking Well, let's get down to the celestial you know, the celestial room and the temple because that way he can connect to heaven. You know, he's he's dying and saying to them, you know, Dad, I think we can get you into the, into the celestial room. And he's like, why would I want to go to the temple, my heaven is here in my home. And it was my dad had little things like that he would say, throughout my life that I always really appreciated. But, you know, that was, that was such a I mean, I was fairly young, 23 ish. Maybe I was a little older. 25 I don't remember. Anyway. But one of those moments, it's like, Yeah, that makes sense to me, right now.
Unknown Speaker 31:47
Yeah, when my dad was going through cancer, I've had a couple, I had a couple of experiences with him. But one as well. So later on in my journey, it was interesting when I kind of had again, that wake up call or that conscious awakening, because a part of me was also super excited that I'm like, spirits real. Like this is all real, like, your soul is amazing. Like, and seeing the light that I kind of came out, almost yelling it on top of the rooftops.
Unknown Speaker 32:24
Maybe hard not to, because I was super excited.
Unknown Speaker 32:27
But I noticed it scared a lot of people. Because
Unknown Speaker 32:31
we're worn Mormon religion, you're born beware of profits. And yeah, that will come up. And that's a sign of the last days, isn't it? Yeah. Yes. People who were put proclaiming that they're, and that can look like a lot of different things.
Unknown Speaker 32:44
Oh, yeah. Which, for me, I was just like speaking what I saw, right? And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, and I would just start talking to people, and it would be right on, but then that would really scare them. Because it wasn't something they understood. They're like, Oh, this person's like talking to the spirits. And it's right on you. And sometimes people can believe that. Again, if you're not necessarily given an authority, or however it is that if you're receiving insight, that's even true. It's from a negative source. I'm like, no, it's love. Like, it's like, Can you see it? Can you feel it? But then recognizing that not everyone did? Yeah. And so I got to learn wisdom, that I don't get to always share what I see and what I received. And that was a big lesson for me, because again, I just, I wanted to share it, I wanted to be like, Oh my gosh, like, do you know, oh, here's all your gifts. And I just start like saying things and they're like, this is scary. How do you know that? And I'm like, whoa, I'm really scary. So I really had to back off in a way where I'm like, Oh, I get to always tune in to and be like, what serves the highest good does it serve to say this? And so when I kind of pulled back a little bit, that I recognized, you know what, I just get to be me, I just get to show up in every point, and just be me and accept me and use wisdom and say what I get to say, but I don't ever like I call it throwing up on anyone or just like wow, right? Just give people information. Now, when I first kind of come out pretty strongly in that I think I scared my family a bit and they're like, oh, but then I'm like, okay, I just get it. Like, just be me. Don't worry about I don't have to save or change anyone. They're exactly where they get to be. So then I was just me. But then as doing that, my dad actually came around to me and asked me to do some energy work on him. And I'm like, oh, okay, like, Sure I'll do energy work on you. So I would do energy work on him. And one time in particular, when I was doing some energy work on him is I saw right outside of his electromagnetic field. So some people call this the aura There were all these beams of light. And I'm like looking at those and I'm like, What are those? And then again, the voice that always guides me says those are prayers. And I'm like really says yes, those are prayers given from the heart. And then I saw the pears looked so different. In other words, he was saying, or pears, pears he was receiving saving those curious because my dad was also he was a network marketer. So he had people in over 74 different countries. And then I saw these people praying in their own way. Some is meditation. Some is again, like a Catholic prayer, some is a Mormon prayer, some is like a Jewish prayer. They were all different cultures. But the number one thing that stuck out was it was from the heart. And that was the light, the beam coming forward. So it wasn't said from the head, from the head is like pull. It's like a flat tire. But from the heart is like the light of a sun coming in. And I was like, oh my gosh. So it was so cool to like, see, and witness that again. Where it was just the sincerity of heart, eat no matter what they might label themselves. And this almost brings me to a point where I've known incredible souls and people who are Mormon. I've known other ones I'd rather not interact with. Same thing with Jewish amazing Jewish people. Other ones, I'm like, Yeah, sure. Well, right. Buddhists, Christian, like, again, I can go on and on. And I was like, oh, it doesn't matter about the label. It's truly how someone shows up for themselves and another individual. So that was really powerful for me to see also,
Unknown Speaker 36:42
no kidding. Yeah. Well, and there's a few different questions I was wanting to ask. And for me, I'm trying to fill in to the best way in which this podcast can serve everyone. Because one of the things that I think about because we started about Jesus, you know, which it's interesting to me, as you're sharing your experience and the pain that you experienced, I often think about the garden, right? And there's a podcast episode that one of these days I'll release about how we live in the shadow of the cross, and how Jesus has gotten misconstrued and the way that he's spoken about and talk about has been misconstrued. And you know, this this he said, This, can you you can do and then some and then more. So I think as you're sharing your experience, it's like, Is this not something that he went through in the garden of guess m&e? You know, the bleeding report wasn't for everybody, since he was feeling like you did? The pain in the world. Yeah. Why? To probably similar to what you went through of allowing for the I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. But for really his Christ Himself to really be more and more embodied.
Unknown Speaker 37:53
Yeah. So after again, I'd had that experience. for about three years. I was literally, again, just feeling and hearing and moving into, okay, what was this really all about? Because sometimes those images would come back. And I'm like, well, it's not mine. Oh, that's not mine, you know, and other people's stuff. Again, as I tuned in to them, I'm like, Oh, this isn't mine. And I finally three years after that experience, when I was sitting outside, and I was just breathing in the air just being, it came to me, it's like Holly, it doesn't matter if it happened to you or not, what happens to one happens to all and we all experience it. In my mind, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, that's it. Like, again, what happens? What happens to all? And what a lot of that experience and all my experience has given me quite frankly, is compassion. Number one is like wow, compassion. So I didn't necessarily like take on people stuff, so to say, but I can see it, and I can feel it as if it's mine. And so then, it feels as if from that place. I can support them in a way that can get them to rise above it, to learn from it, and to rise above it. Because every pain we have has a gift. We often hear this. Now when you're in the pain in the moment, you're like, doubt tell me that. Right? But on the other end was like, You know what, I'm super grateful I had that because there is a gift in that pain. But yeah, that was my experience was recognizing, you know what, what we do want to one we do to all including ourselves.
Unknown Speaker 39:53
While in most people who leave. I mean, it's a very fearful thing, right? It's scary. It's scary. It's scary to step that religion is scary to step out of the family constructs and have, you know, usually it's embedded in in the family system. And you not only stepped out of it, but now you're embodying these gifts that are pretty new to you before that you had been studying yoga, correct? Yeah, yoga teacher,
Unknown Speaker 40:19
yep, I was a very Western yoga teacher. So very much like just poses like, handstand figure eight. So I was into yoga. But again, just very much about the posture. So not necessarily into what Yoga is, which is union between the body, mind, heart and spirit. That's what Yoga is, it means union between all those aspects. So I had had some just yoga before I'd gone into it. And again, at that point of my so called awakening, like conscious awakening, what I noticed was, when I was really tuning in, to say, the energy of everything, body, mind, heart and spirit was that my breath would automatically change. And it would move really slow and deep. And in doing that, I would move into a more meditative state or relaxed state, where I was still conscious, but also completely relaxed. And then it's like the spiritual world, or what I call just energy then pops and comes out. So in that, that really put me down the realm of there's something to this breath. And obviously, I knew there were some things in yoga to breath. But I hadn't dived into it like that deep. But then I just started really diving into the yoga much more deeply. And recognizing for me, like yoga was, it was wholeness, and health, because it included the physical, just as much as the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. It wasn't just about let me drag myself through this life until eventually I can get to heaven and have my mansion and eventually be happy. And all these things. I was like, this is about Whole Health here now. Like, why don't we create it here now, what is stopping us because we think it's in our future, like it has to be earned. We can give it to ourselves here right now. But we have to take a more well rounded approach, again, including the physical, and the mental, and the emotional, and the spiritual. So I've also had an experience in the past, I was actually looking up at the clouds, the big billowing clouds. They're like the heavenly clouds, right? Whenever people talk about heaven, it's like, I remember looking at these clouds. And as I'm looking at them, I just started to think and Phil, Oh, my gosh, how people view God is how they view love. Hmm, interesting. So what does that mean? Does it have to be earned? Is it freely given?
Unknown Speaker 43:01
Do you have to prove it? unconditional? Right?
Unknown Speaker 43:04
And I started to even recognize that and even when I was watching people and just tuning into them, I was like, wow, how they are perceiving God is how they perceive love. And this has been my experience, and it's pretty powerful. When you really ask yourself, how do you perceive love? And how is that mirrored in how you perceive God?
Unknown Speaker 43:28
I think that's a really fascinating and my brains going because of our retreat, I have a thought on that. So we're just gonna pin on that. Anyway, um, one of the other things that I would love, I would love for you to touch on and kind of where I was going a little bit before too was you had all these transitions and you're doing you're embodying the parts that most people are afraid to embody. And not everybody who leaves has this spiritual desire to really gain more but most people I feel like that do have some sort of an awareness that there is more to this life than what's being taught here. Yes, and and I know in my own personal journey I've had to do a lot of freaking work even energy around my own name of Can I be seen as Amanda Loveland in doing these things? And you you went you live you still live in Utah County in Orem Utah. Yes, I love it. You go through this shift and now you have all these abilities and now you start allowing yourself to be seen someone in the community as a healer and then shortly after that, I don't know if you are open to talking about this. But you started channeling Yes. Yeah. How and I'll let you I'll let you you know explain what channeling is. And that's actually how you and I first connected back in 2012 was was I anyway through that but you know, I'd love for you to share how what channeling is but then also what did you do? As you're moving through this, to continue to be to show up, because you always show up. And sometimes the way that you're asked to show up is very uncomfortable, because of how you had to be a channel, even for other people's emotions, because they won't let release it out of their body. And it is a very vulnerable place, and you always lean into it. I mean, maybe I'm using my experience of you. And what I know is always and I'm sure there's times where you're like, I'm not going to be doing that one. Thank you very much. I don't know. Um, but yeah, if you wouldn't mind speaking to those two things, I think it'd be really interesting for
Unknown Speaker 45:38
us to share. Yeah, so what exactly is a channel. So if you think of a channel, obviously, for something to be a channel, it has to have space so that something can flow through it. So being a channel is allowing you to be a conduit for energy to flow through. So in spiritual sense to be a channel means that you open up to allow energy to flow through you. So there's two ways that I can speak about this. One way is, as Amanda spoke about, when sometimes when I get into specific groups, or different people that are looking on healing or healing themselves, there's a lot of pain, there's a lot of trauma that people have been through. And if you think of your physical body, you can think of your physical body as being, you know, a conduit of energy. Here's your body, there's emotions that run through you. So your body is a conduit of energy.
Unknown Speaker 46:44
And memory is stored in the cells, yes, issues
Unknown Speaker 46:47
in the tissues. So if you think of any painful experience, most the time, if you have not healed or neutralized it, you will relive it, you will feel it again. Sometimes that pain can feel like too much. So if someone is unhealed or hasn't neutralized it yet, it's usually because it was too much. So they buried it in their cells, physically, because it was too much to handle, it felt like it would literally kill you. So at times when I'm working with people, or when I come across people who have had a lot of pain that they don't feel they can bring up and handle themselves. They don't necessarily know that this is what I do. But since you brought it up, I'll I'll speak to what that is, is what I'll end up doing is connecting with them in a way that we both become the channel. So when I connect with someone again, and I feel what you're feeling, what actually ends up happening is you have the same amount of energy and motion of emotion or of pain, but I just create more space. So that when that energy moves through you, when you release it, when you let it go when you neutralize it, it doesn't seem so hard, because it's not like you're trying to force an impossible sense of emotion through a very small hole. Because there's more space for it to move. So it's the same amount of pain, but there's just more space to move. It's almost like when you feel like you have support to do something you feel like you can do more, rather than doing it alone. So on an energetic spiritual level, what I end up doing is just creating more space so that it can move more freely. Now I will feel what people are feeling. So not necessarily take it on, so to say. But I will connect with them in a way that can move it out more easily. Because again, you don't feel alone, right? So that's one aspect of what a channel is or being a channel. Now another aspect of that is there are I spoke about this briefly in the beginning about my story about when I was like in my higher self or that my spirit who knew exactly what I was doing. And then here I was back into Holly like what am I doing, I don't know what I'm doing. So, an aspect of being a channel also is for me, connecting to what I call source. So in connecting with source what I end up doing is letting go of myself as in me, Holly, the personality to be open to connecting with source which is the universe which is universal love and allowing that information to come through and to be channeled so just like I'm talking to you. When I open up that channel, then you would have a conversation with source. Now I do not leave and check out and go like sit on a park bench. What I end up doing is I just expand my energy. So think of every cell in your body and you expand it In such a way that you then bring in what it is you're channeling. So you don't necessarily give yourself up, you expand into it. And this is how I do it. So you almost move from the micro cosmic such as me Holly, the personality into the macro cosmic still, Holly but more in the higher self, the Oneness again, we're all connected, what happens to one happens to all. So there's aspects here we have our individual expression here on Earth, we have our spirit, and we're all part of the one. We're all in that oneness. So when I channel I go more into that oneness. And then I speak from there. And again, I just let the energy flow through. And it's for whatever serves the highest good. And in the channeling is really funny too. Because again, I was in a bit of resistance to all this stuff on that, and then all of a sudden, it's like, yeah, I'm a channeler great, just make me more weird.
Unknown Speaker 50:59
That label on to all the other things, and that's why I'm kind of wanted to touch on it. Yes, that would be that would be child, I would have its challenges.
Unknown Speaker 51:08
And it was, and I would always go back to. And I will say this energy doesn't lie. If you really let yourself feel into the energy, it was always pure love. And I knew exactly my intention was always to come from the highest good. And I had to dissolve my personality in a way when I channel. And that's scary for most people is like, What? You're just gonna, like, dissolve yourself to become almost no one so you can become the one?
Unknown Speaker 51:42
No, how did you move, and your channelings are beautiful. And that was one of the I first saw you and you were channeling a group called a variance. And that's another story for another day, but you don't channel them anymore. And but it was when you leave religion or when you're considering leaving. That's when I first saw you because it was like this, I feel like I should leave I feel like I should get divorced. I feel like I mean all my world was up rooted. And I needed something else outside of me to to confirm that it was okay, I was okay. And I actually had one of the most, I mean, one of the most beautiful experiences from that channel, and then an experience later of showing me that yes, I'm on the right path. And in a lot of ways, it was a godsend to me, you know, I know we, we, most of us, when we leave religion, we do look to someone else, and it's natural and, and that's where you know, we are here to help each other. It is normal, it is natural. And I think the only thing I would caution anybody is is to try not to give your power away to what all he was saying. Yes, go do sessions. Yes, go chat, talk with people. Yes, go look to others, if that's what you feel like you need, but do it from a place of this is what I'm thinking. And I'm needing help with moving through this, but not so relying on this person to now become your own voice your own abilities. Like recognizing, finding those people that actually help you to build rebuild that within this, it makes sense. Am I saying that? Oh, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 53:17
completely. And notice those to whom you are, say wanting to align with just to I want to tap into my spirit, my soul? I'm just looking for something like, Is there a God is there universe is to really recognize those people to who ask you questions and be like, Well, what do you feel? How do you feel that? Because what I have found is those that are truly deeply connected to what someone calls God or the universe, on our true level. They also recognize that that's any Yeah. And they are empowering. It's not about raising someone higher than another or putting someone on a pedestal. If it ever comes to anything where you know, you're feeling like less than or not good enough or anything, are you doing that to yourself or if someone else is saying that to you, it's time to just recalibrate, to backup. Because from my experience, and I wish I could show you but I can just speak to you. From my experience those that are truly connected to God source the universe, the divine. They just radiate a love that you are just as connected again, this you can do and more. The kingdom of God lies within you. Home is where the hardest. All these sayings, it's there and just recognize it really is about owning your power. Not only your power in your life of like you know speaking up speaking your truth, but on the power of your soul. Again, your spiritually inherited gifts. Everyone has them, there is not one person exactly like you. And we need every single person showing up in their authentic self, that some people call their spirit self. I see the spirit self as the authentic self truly showing up fully, wholeheartedly to be seen, then we can give that gift to the world, and unite each other and come together, because humanity is the spirituality. And what I mean by that is being human has many hues, many different individual expressions, and finding our own power and our own connection with our spirit, our soul, that I feel is what's truly going to light up the world. 100% Yeah, and finding your own connection. And obviously, you know, we have people that help us along the way, but a true person who is here to support you and finding your power, finding your connection to divine source, will walk beside you, not in front, nor behind you, they'll walk beside you, and you'll feel supported, but they'll also empower you, towards yourself.
Unknown Speaker 56:18
Totally agree. What advice would you give for someone who is going through whatever their transition is on faith transition, that may be having some similar things, or maybe afraid of being seen more for who they feel like they are, and not what they've been? What advice would you offer,
Unknown Speaker 56:39
the advice that I would offer is to recognize if you're really dropping something that no longer works for you, or a mask or a persona that you've had that you're saying this no longer works, I'm stepping away from this, it can be scary, because you can lose people and things. But here's something to always remember, what you lose, is no longer in resonance with who you are. So are you truly losing something? Or is it taking itself away, because you are becoming who you want to be. And as you become who you want to be or step into something new, you will send that vibration out the energy out and you'll find those that will then accept you authentically, and you won't have to play a game anymore. Yeah, you won't have to, you know, keep up with that. Because sometimes we're like, oh, but I'll lose all these people. I'm like, Well, do you want them? It's almost like divorce. I'll speak to that. Right? where it's like, yeah, that's a sad, painful thing. But if you were happy, you'd stay so you're not good job, right? You're doing a scary thing, because it's no longer serving. And eventually you will look back and say, thank God, I did that. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 57:53
absolutely. Well, is there anything else you'd like to share before we wrap up?
Unknown Speaker 57:59
I think anyone in any sort of rather you feel yourself in transition and pain in joy, is to be aware that what I found has been the most beneficial is to have an intention of truly connecting with your own spirit, your soul, your consciousness again. What is it behind the heart beating the lungs breathing? What is this energy of life of lifeforce? What is your spirit, get to know that energy, literally have conversations, and talk to yourself as your spirit as your soul? build a relationship with your soul? Because sometimes we're just growing up, right? We've never really thought about building relationship with our own soul. Obviously, we build a relationship, you know, with God and universe, which is amazing. But as you're transitioning out, it's like, okay, who am I start to ask your soul, your spirit. And you'll start to feel who you are on a spiritual level outside of just this lifetime, and start to build a relationship with the higher self, the true self, the spirit, soul, whatever you want to call it, because obviously, it's here. It's right within you. And you just got to open that channel.
Unknown Speaker 59:13
Beautiful. Well, in Holly has written a few books. So I'm gonna plug that for a minute. You you have written a few breathwork books, right? Yeah. Two, yeah. Two of those. And then you have written like, and I think of your other book, I know the body of light will talk by Yeah, yeah, but the one your recent one is the body of light. Yes. What's the other one I'm missing?
Unknown Speaker 59:33
There is another one I'm writing on. It's not out yet. But right, actually, I'm just releasing the body of light. But yeah, so that one I'm just releasing and oh, it's incredible. It's amazing. That one, obviously there's so much within it, but it it really leads to a really powerful meditation. It's called the body of light meditation. And what it ends up doing is going through every single system of your physical body and And realigning it to what is known as the Central Sun, that is pure love pure light, its source its universe, and then bringing that back embodied. And so you literally shift your DNA. DNA does have light that bends around it is from like, there's lots of science in this book, too. So you'll read all about it. But yeah, it's this meditation is so powerful. Because again, it really is about connecting to your soul, while you are here, embodied in your body, because our bodies are electrical and magnetic. And our soul holds electrical magnetic energy, like it is literally a sun. So you adjust your physical body to hold your essence your spirit embody. But it's super powerful. And, and there's you go, you'll read about the story of how I've been received that, which is pretty unique, too. But yeah, it's, it's, I love it. I'm just grateful,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:59
very powerful book. When Holly writes, there's a lot of energy behind it. So every time I open up one of her books, it's like, you're reading these words, but there's so much other information and energy that's gained, that's being received. And that's really, really powerful. Sorry,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:13
it's the space between the words creates the energy.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:18
So people want to find you, where do they go?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:21
Body of light, calm. That's where most of my stuff is. And obviously, you can go on Instagram. It's just Holly underscore seminoff as well.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:31
One. I know we're we need to wrap up but I'm just thinking about because you have done bodybuilding and when you won competitions and and that was your world for a while. And I love the story of you like going into your that other fitness competition. And it was like nobody like, yes, yes. And here you are. That was how many years ago?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:53
Oh, good. That was in 2017. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:58
And just a fascinating reminder of we never, we never really did you think you'd be sitting across from me? And no, 20? What year is it? 2021. And telling this story and
Unknown Speaker 1:02:08
right. That's one thing too, I love to talk about with intuition. And sometimes we think we'll get the entire picture. Nope, you'll get step upon step upon step. Because truly coming from the spirit or the heart. It's not calculated. But you take the steps, you do take action, but you take it step by step by step, and then it ends up just orchestrating an amazing thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:33
I've been thinking about that a lot lately, because it's this recently in conversations, oftentimes, we're healing and we're clearing our past, but we don't talk much about clearing the future. And how oftentimes we're so dead set or holding on to whatever we think that we should, we're, you know, moving towards aka religion, let's just use that since this is the and or this is the reason why we're holding on to religion is because this is the outcome that we're looking for. But when we hold so tightly onto something, we're not available for actually what the Spirit is trying to communicate through. And so intuition can get bogged down or confused or mutilated. I know that's a weird word, but and how it is, it's that trust, and that surrender of this is who I want to show up in the world. And what I'd love to bring the world and how do I get there, then that's where you get to trust and follow the steps. I love that you shared that. Yes, 100%.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:25
And then speaking to that, and I know we spoke about my dreams with Jesus. And yeah, he was in the corner, I was always afraid of them was this was probably in in 2016. I had another dream. And then Jesus actually was in the dream. I looked over at him, but I smiled. And then he came over and then he sat down at the table across from me and said welcome, and I said thank you. So I'd finally been able to be like Alright, we can sit together not afraid of you anymore. And it's all good. So that was super powerful. It was like the acceptance piece. So rounding putting a nice little bow on that that was hitting Yeah, I was able to embrace it and accept it so
Unknown Speaker 1:04:07
well thank you for showing up as you do in such a beautiful way and and this is this is one of the many reasons why I love doing retreats because you're just such with you because you're a beautiful human being in Bali. And I always plug our retreats when I'm doing our podcast because we have one in a few weeks a heart opening retreats.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:23
We do. I'm super excited. So yeah, they're always very, very powerful. super powerful.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:31
Well, thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:31
You're welcome.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:32
Thanks for being you. Did Oh. So what did you think? If you haven't heard before, I have a Facebook group that is all for this podcast for those of us who support each other through our transition and going through and to really have open conversations. And it was really excited to interview Holly today because her story is unique and unique and So many ways. So if you have questions or curiosities, you can reach out to her through her website and I'll put that in the show links below or go find my facebook group leaving religion those really behind. And I hope that you truly enjoyed this as much as I did and now that you've listened and heard Holly's amazingness of all that she is, and you've been kind of curious about our her opening retreat and now it's a not only Yes, but hell yes. Go over to our my website Amanda loveland.com and get registered today we have a few spots still left so is that spot yours? You're gonna want to go snag it and is always sending you so much love and a reminder that you are not alone.
